Sunday, July 05, 2009

Oblivion

Isn't oblivion where I came from? Isn't oblivion our greatest fear? So. We fear our origin? Passing into that great unknown the idea of not being remembered haunts us. We fear not having anything to cling to. We want order to reign, not chaos. The whole thrust of our being seems to be to stave off entropy. Abhorrent dissolution! This is the fiendish chain that binds us and this in a way is liberties opposite.

Liberty is a universal, a principle. That something is a principle means it is a force. Love, as principle, posits love as force...of nature, on a par with gravity. The same holds for all concomitants of sentient life. Always there are forbears who have struggled with these eternal verities, trying to see a clear path through an absolutely impossible maze.

Reading of Soren Kieerkegaard for instance: The soul is like a channel that opens into the sea. The closer to the sea the wider the channel. The boundaries of the individual soul increasingly dissolve as the "channel" merges with the sea. On meditation the personal soul resolves into the spirit of God, the cosmic soul. This is true transcendence and is not available to those trapped in subject/object modes of being. Those that have consigned their spirits to a "having" existence as opposed to "being". Freedom is in being in the world. Slavery is in having objects in the world, in mere materialism.

The tone of this is that the sea is the repository of great joy, which I think is true, but for most of the lives of most people this great all encompassing sea is the abyss, the void that swallows up all purpose and meaning. It is oblivion, chaos, entropy. We have vehicles for coping with this and to follow that path the abyss becomes full not empty.

Faith is a vehicle for coping with our seeming estrangement from the real itself. Guilt is this same estrangement from reality. The Christ teaches us that there is a way out. Jesus said I am the way, the light, and no man cometh to the Father except by me. Here he is disembodying himself. He identifies with the "Way" to God and with the "Light" itself which illuminates this path. So, the way to God and the light shining thereon are principles too, and Jesus Christ was a living embodiment of those. In other times and other places, across the entire Cosmos, other beings live that also give a living body to these same universals. Isn't it a necessary truth that there are many "Christs"?

Just wanted to get that off my mind.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Travel Log

I had been working on the "K" bike for over a week. The steering head bearings needed replacing and the windscreen function had to be repaired. I wrapped this up on June 5 and packed up my stuff and left for a trip north on Saturday, June 6, 2009. It had been pretty hot with temps in the low 90s and on day one that held true for my entire run straight up I-35. I made it to Wichita, Kansas the first day. The wind was at my back the whole day. I think it was gusting at least 30-40 MPH so you can imagine I got real good gas mileage. I stayed in a Days Inn near down town Wichita. I had stopped at several motels and all the desk clerks had been Indian or, who knows, Pakistani, so I kept going. These were cheap places, or should have been, but I have a distinct aversion to motels run by middle easterners and try to avoid them. But, of course, you have to take what's available and when the clerk at the Days Inn turned out to be Indian I just threw in the towel and paid his exorbitant rate of $62 plus tax. The next morning I passed a Motel 6 displaying a rate of $40. It was all of three blocks further down the road.

I have, in the past, stayed in lots of hotels/motels with Middle eastern, mostly Indian, hosts. I recall one in Houston, I think it was a Hampton Inn. I was on a business trip then so I could have stayed anywhere. This made a lasting impression on me because they didn't even put soap out in the rooms. I guess they were afraid someone would steal the "extra" bars because you had to go to the desk and "request" soap. I have had other similar experiences with these people. Their business plans include such extreme parsimony that you have to wonder if they change the sheets and towels.

Sunday morning it was noticeably cooler. It was overcast with light clouds too as I resumed my run up I-35. Well, its called 135 here cause 35 cuts off to Topeka which is north east of Wichita. I went straight north and crossed I-70 where the interstate turned into US 81. This highway took me to I-80 in Nebraska where I turned west. I-80 runs across Nebraska and Wyoming and at this stage it was my intention to head north again in Wyoming with a vague goal of going up into Montana. Well, it got cold and stayed cloudy all day Sunday. It threatened rain, and I did encounter mildly wet conditions such as wet roads but I never ran through rain myself, just a little behind assorted storms. I made it to North Platte by about five p.m. and you guessed it, stayed in a Motel 6 hosted by a white guy. I noted to the clerk that Motel 6's always had white people hosting and he said that had something to do with the fact that Motel 6 is owned by Accor, a French company. The rate was $36. That night I watched the weather closely and could see that I was in for some cool and wet weather for the forseeable future. We had the tropical jet stream dumping moisture off the south Pacific across the western half of the country with similar pushes of conflicting air masses off the northwest Pacific, across Washington Oregon and to top it off a real strong arctic air mass was falling down the globe to challenge these other two. The next morning I met some people on a Harley from Alaska and they said it was real cold up north with lots of snow still. They were headed for Florida and thought I was silly to be headed north. Oh well!

Monday the parking lot was wet and it was in the upper 40s I think with highs in the 70s expected. At this time I still intended to do some camping starting just west of Cheynne I thought, in a state park there. This was not to be however.

I suited up in my full winter regalia pretty much trying to be water proof and cold proof as well. Here is a picture of the bike at a rest area on I-80 west of North Platte, Nebraska.



As far as the eye can see it is lush green rolling prairie. Nice. So I got to Cheyenne and lo and behold there was one of those tune to your a.m. dial, so and so frequency, for urgent message about road conditions...when the orange lights were flashing. I didn't have to have gas but decided to stop anyhow to check this warning out. I bought the gas and was checking the bike for anything that might be wrong when I saw a huge gash across my practically new front tire. I could pick up one corner of the tread and peeling it back expose the inner layer of the tire, the cords underneath the tread. Well this would not do at all so cancel all plans and replace this tire.

I rode through Cheyenne looking for a motorcycle dealer and finally stopped at a car parts place where a guy in the parking lot directed me to one just down the road from where we were. Lucky strike. Well they were closed. It was monday and this is what these businesses do I have noticed. They are always open on Saturday so they take Mondays off so they can have a full weekend.

I didn't know what to do except wait so I went to a motel across the street but instead of checking in we looked in the yellow pages and one of the ads gave hours for Mondays. It was a Kawasaki place and just a few blocks away so I rode over there and met Mike Ault who said they didn't keep the tires I needed in stock. He could get one for me by the next morning however. Before leaving on this ride I knew I'd have to replace the rear tire sometime during the trip. It was getting near the end of its life so we decided to do both tires. He said they'd be there by 10:30 the next day though the rear tire had to come from Texas. So next day I showed up at the appointed time and by 11:30 I was on my way. Total cost was $459 including $80 for shipping just on the tire from Texas. Mike expected $40 shipping, which is what he quoted me, and that is what he charged. Nice. I put Avons on. Avon Road Riders.

So in Cheyenne I ended up staying in the Guest Ranch Motel. They had a Motel 6 but this was closer to town. It was a decent sort of place. The lobby was full of orchids. The clerk, a real honest to goodness red blooded American, said his wife kept those and I met her the next morning and she told me some about the flowers when I went in to get coffee. The room was a little cold at first but warmed up nicely with the free standing portable radiator. I don't think the main heat was working but nevermind. The weather report looked pretty grim and it was here I abandoned hope of going further north. It showed snow and freezing temps west and north. I considered turning around and heading back the way I had come. I considered going south. Denver is a short run down I-25 from Cheyenne but snow was predicted along that path too and I really didn't want to go to Colorado anyhow. It wasn't until the next morning that I made my plans. After talking to a couple of local people at the Kawasaki place while they worked on the bike I decided to circle Colorado. I would go west through Laramie, Wyoming and turn south into Utah at the earliest opportunity. Maybe I would go to four corners. It had to be warmer there, but maybe not too warm, and I could camp at Gooseneck state park on the San Juan river.

So I put on even more winter stuff adding another layer underneath what I had worn yesterday, and hooked up my heated gloves for the ride across Wyoming. It was cold and it rained on me some but not a lot. I sort of dodged thunderstorms all day that Tuesday and the next day too.

The last time I was out here, I think it was 2007, I took Wyoming 130 out of Laramie to get over the Medicine Bow Mountains there. 130 goes right by Medicine Bow peak which tops out at 12013 feet. The pass is at 10847 feet. I knew this would be blocked by snow this year, or at least the roads would likely be icy. In '07 the snow was maybe fifteen feet high on either side of the road; but the road was clean. That too was in June.

I-80 west of Cheyenne takes you through these mountains too but I didn't encounter any snow at the lower elevation I-80 runs through. Not quite cold enough...but close. Just past Rock Springs, Wyoming you come to US 191 which goes right past the Flaming Gorge Reservoir on the Green river. I was in really dry country but there had obviously been a lot of rain and the desert round about was as green as you will ever see it. At the Utah line I took some pics.



I took this pic here too. You can just see some small puddles of water on the road there.


And this one.


And this is just down the road.


The above is right at the dam which is rather small I guess. Here is the dam. I was a little nervous crossing this as the roadway was full of metal apparatus, rail road like tracks for moving gates and assorted dam superstructures about. If you don't know wet metal on roadways is a bike hazard deluxe. Hard to keep traction on wet metal.


After leaving Cheyenne at 11:30 a.m. I guess I did ok arriving in Vernal, Utah about six p.m. just south of the flaming gorge...now full of water. It must have been really beautiful before. I think I am against daming up every river especially if it is just to attract developers and/or increase the tax base for government.

It is 366 miles from Cheyenne to Vernal. I took this picture to illustrate the threatening skies along my path. Somehow I managed to miss most of the rain once I got into Utah but the roads were mostly wet and I had to go slow on the extremely curvy roads.


And here is a picture of my room in Vernal. It was a Rodeway Inn...hosted by Indians. There was a Motel 6 in town but it was $69. The Rodeway was $50. I engaged the clerk and his wife in conversation. We got off into the economy in India. I learned that the Rupee was backed by gold...haven't checked this. I thought that was good. The man asked what backed the US dollar and I was surprised he didn't know. I loudly proclaimed that nothing backed the dollar. He seemed perplexed. I said nothing but the faith and credit of the US government which was headed south as fast as could be. I laughed and told him if he and wife had voted for Obama I wanted my money back on the room.


I was really tired so the first thing I did was get some ice and make a drink and THEN started to unpack the bike. I carried one bag in and went to get another. The door to the adjacent room opened and pot smoke billowed out as a young girl exited and walked to the passenger side of the car there next to me. I greeted her. She ignored me and quickly got in the car...for safety? Right behind her came this young guy. I didn't even look at him, just got another bag off the bike and took it into the room while they backed out. Just as they were driving away I came out and saw some folding money on the ground. I picked it up and chased them on foot but they were gone. It was $60. I thought about chasing them on the bike but it had straps hanging off it, and I couldn't get going fast enough. So I nursed my drink and noticed that the truck parked in front of the subject room was from Texas. Some kind of oil field contractor I surmised. Shortly another young guy exited the room and headed for this truck. I asked him about the money and he called his friend who would head back over from his dad's. This second fellow had been living on per diem for two years. His job was to x-ray welds of pipes that go into wells. He was from Pasadena, Texas.

I just about finished unloading the bike and the first guy shows up. He told me the correct amount of money he lost and I returned it to him smilingly suggesting that if he didn't smoke that "stuff" he probably wouldn't lose his money. He was not offended by this but I could tell he didn't know what to say so he just said thanks. I told him he was very lucky a person from Texas found the cash cause anybody else and he would never have heard about it. I asked him if he too was from Texas and he said Oklahoma. "Close enough," I said, and let him go. This guy is maybe 21 years old. The Pasadena chap was looking on for all this and found it very amusing but kept his cool and remained silent. It was a very friendly exchange with me playing the role of the surrogate father which I enjoyed very much. What do you want to bet that $60 was proceeds of a drug deal and further that the dope came from the dad of the young guy with the girl?

US 191 out of Vernal doesn't go straight south. It meanders off to the West a third of the way across Utah before cutting back to the east. I got an early start that Wednesday, say about 7:30, and went out to see what would happen. After coming down out of the mountains again I ran through this kind of country.


And this.


It was still cloudy with lots of rain all around but not much directly on lucky me.


Lots of rain here too recently. More than normal as you can see from all the green.


And this though it is a little blurry.


And here is the best picture of the trip I guess. I actually stopped for this one.


That one is pretty close to Moab where you'll find the Arches National Park. This was a stunningly beautiful ride made all the more pleasant by the unseasonably cool and wet weather. You could not ask for a better run on a motorcycle than I had that Wednesday, June 10, 2009. I made a note last night about this, you know, one of those reflective mood notes I like to indulge. I lost the note when I shut down the computer but the gist of it was that the world is full of beautiful things and there is not time to touch or hold all available. We are blessed because in a grain of sand resides the whole of creation and likewise in just one fine experience, with a clever fusion of mind the whole of reality can be brought to the front of a simple landscape. You know, where you feel you have it all just in having this little bit. All of the real informs every instance of experience. Is this satori? You decide. I just make this stuff up!

It's 320 miles from Vernal, Utah to Bluff, Utah near four corners. Rand McNally estimates the driving time at 5 hours 40 minutes. I left Vernal about 7:30 or eight and checked into the Kokopelli Inn in Bluff at 6:30. Stops for breakfast, gas, talking on the phone, rest area pit stops, taking pictures, etc., sure adds up. I remember trying to hurry because at this stage, in the morning, I intended to camp that night at Goose Neck park. As the day dragged on it got hot so I nixed that option. I guess that pretty much ended my fantasy about camping, at least for this trip.

The Kokopeli Inn was quite an indulgence for me at $76. It was by far the nicest Inn I used on this trip. It was here I met a guy on a Harley, didn't get his name, but he had traveled up to Yellowstone and Glacier national parks. Yellowstone, he said, was inaccessible because of snow. I'm glad I didn't go to Montana. I've been to Alaska on this bike. Montana can wait. Besides I was there in 2007 but riding my R90/6. On that trip I recall it was 100 degrees the day before I rode through Missoula and in the 30s next.

Anyhow I was up and out of Bluff pretty early. After buying and adding half a quart of oil...oh, that's how I met the Harley guy. He took the extra oil off my hands. I didn't want to carry it and he needed some anyhow. Come 7 a.m. I was on the road. It stayed cool a good while, and cloudy. This is serious desert here and it cools down fast at night.

This is in my path. I have to go over.


I took US 54 off of US 191 out of Bluff and followed it all the way to Raton, New Mexico. This is a very scenic route and goes from extreme desert conditions to lush green mountain valleys to high rocky crags sheathed in snow. It is a very challenging road for motorcyclists, quite narrow in the mountains with so many switchbacks and steep grades up and down that it makes you dizzy.

On the run outside Taos, just west of town, I shot this picture of the Rio Grande River. That gorge seems like about an eighth of a mile deep.


I could launch on how the hippies have ruined Taos, and especially with their earthship housing project out here in the desert near the Rio Grande. It is truly disgusting and all the more so because they delude themselves so abysmally with all the "sustainability" crap. If you are interested do a search. These people, that generation, MY f-ing generation, has ruined this country, or has bust a gut trying. See Obama in the WH! They were at this bridge above in full regalia, beating drums, playing hippie music, hawking the wares dredged from the abyss that is their degraded souls. Nihilists. Solipsists. Godless. Their self loving leads inevitably to self loathing and that is the center of their reality. They all need to be put back into the food chain. Seriously! Well I launched anyhow. Sorry. It is reflexive.

On the other side of Taos 54 climbs immediately up to Angel Fire and Eagles Nest. Coming down out of the pass I stopped for an apple here. There were a lot of people fishing this mountain stream.


Remember I mentioned all the switchbacks? Here is a nice shot of my "chicken strips". That is the part of the tire the rider is afraid to use in tight cornering. Now, I think mine are pretty narrow but you decide. My knee wasn't scraping the pavement exactly, but it seemed if I reached out with my hand I could probably pick up a pebble or two. I don't know.


OK, so it took me all day to go across New Mexico. I took the business loop at Raton, New Mexico off of I-25 and stopped at the first motel I came to after passing up the Holiday Inn. It was the Maverick motel, vintage, I guess, 1940s. The grounds were well maintained with lots of petunias along the drive and across the front of the office. Picture:


That is the view from my front door. Between here and the distant high ground is Raton, New Mexico. A woman was sitting outside in one of the chairs you see there. She greeted me with a thick accent and quoted a price of $47 total which I snapped up. Her name was something like Zorka, with an umlaut over the "o", I think. I asked her before getting her name, in German, Sind sie Deutsch? She said no, Czech. Oh! The office was full of her crochet items. They were very nice and I would have bought something had I had a way to carry it. Everything was large and she stiffened the items with sugar to form bowls for flowers and things like that. We hit it off, so to speak. Her husband, Nick, was from Croatia. He came to my room to show me how to operate the heater which I would need though it had been hot all the way across New Mexico almost, except for the mountains, of course, and the early morning over on the east side. He said it hadn't rained in a year and the desert outside town looked it too.

My room was very clean and I took to it. I like this carved headboard.


My stuff laid out in the bath.


And this is how I lived for the week. Only two restaurant meals, both breakfasts.


I think I was the only guest that night. In the morning I made coffee in my room with my camp stove and was on the road by seven or so. By noon I was in Amarillo and it was hot. I chased the asphalt to Lubbock and beyond but by the time I got to Post, Texas I couldn't take any more of the heat so I took a room in the Deluxe Inn which was somewhat overpriced at $50 total and not well kept compared to the Eastern European hosts in Raton. There were a lot of flies in the room and though the air conditioner worked it was obnoxiously loud. I noted and commented on the Hindu shrine set up behind the desk in the "lobby". I named one or two of the dieties, Ganapati, Ganesha, the elephant headed one, the Little Lord, and one she said was Krsna I noted did not have enough arms and that maybe in the U.S. he was less powerful. I would have recognised him had he had seven or eight arms. Krsna is the great Lord, subsuming all the others who are like angels, so to speak, if you have to compare to western religion. He is the one in the Bhagavad Gita (Song of the Lord, the Hindu "bible") who instructs Arjuna on how to pray. The lady wore a poker face during this exchange but I had the impression that not many guests offered comments on the Hindu religion, especially comments indicating intimate familiarity, for a westerner at least, with the Hindu pantheon. I spoke to her about bhakta, told her that as I understand it, a bhakti practices bhakta, i.e., love of the lord, and her response was that Bhakta was also a surname which I responded that it was but not as popular as, for instance, Patel, to which she averred. Actually I met a Bhakta last month I told her. He was a host, what do you know, at a motel in East Memphis I had the misfortune to stay in. I didn't tell her, but it was implied, that a Christian is a Bhakta too, in as much as he is one who loves the Lord, and that this is true vice versa.

I meant to have a restaurant meal that evening in Post but my first choice, a BBQ place, I could see by the parking lot, was too busy. I went to the south side of town...took me one minute from downtown, and found an interesting, locally owned hamburger joint. Sometimes these can be real finds so I tried it but after 30 minutes they hadn't started my order so I got my money back. There was hardly anyone there but about five minutes after I arrived the whole town, it seems, showed up and my order got lost in the shuffle it would seem. No problem. They comped me the Dr. Pepper. I didn't make a scene and like it or not had a much better experience at the McDonalds...except, of course, the burgers sucked...but the service was fast and friendly. After two burgers and fries I walked to the supermarket a block from the room and got one of those bags of fancy lettuce and a tomato and ate a big salad.

From Post to home is not that far and I determined to get an early start to beat the heat so at four a.m. I was up. I again made coffee in my room and with that in hand opened the door to check out the weather. It was warm. I could ride with just a shirt on top. Funny thing, there was a U-Haul truck towing a car pulling into the lot when I looked out. The driver got out and went to the door of the office. Wanted a room I guess. At four a.m. Hmmm! The door, of course, was locked and as he climbs back in the truck I close my door and resume my preparations to leave. A minute later I still hear the truck and go out to put a bag on the bike. He is backing up, trying to turn around. His girl, they are both twenty something I guess, is trying to help him do this but it is obvious they are not practiced truck drivers as they keep jackknifing the car. I don't want to watch this, so back in the room to brush my teeth, having finished the coffee. In a couple of minutes I come back out with another bag and the truck is gone. But not the "kids". They are both running around the parking lot waving their arms and yelling at and trying to corner what must have been the most obese cat in the world record books. It ran here and there with its huge stomach dragging the ground. Really, every bound and this huge sack of fat would swing first to its left and then to its right. Funny and pathetic at the same time and the owners seemed as inept at catching what must have been the world's slowest cat as they were at backing up the truck. Well I felt myself getting pulled into this situation despite my strong intention to not even acknowledge these fools. So back in the room fast where I resolved that the best course of action was to scram out of there as quickly as possible. One more bag, and a couple of little items to tend to. I put my helmet on in my room made my last check and locked the door behind me. I mounted the bike and the girl emerges alone from the shadows down to my left. No sign of boy or cat. She is barefooted and trots across the parking lot towards the street. Her butt crack is just visible above her way too tight jeans. There is some loose gravel around and that had to hurt her feet. I pulled in behind her and just a little too close and carefully followed her to the street both of us ignoring the other as much as possible. The guy is standing on the side walk and she joins him there as I pull out and give her the gas.

It was a little after five and there was a waning moon with a large planet dogging it in the heavens above my head. Another very bright planet was on the eastern horizon and after a bit you could just make out in the east the first fingers of dawn creeping up the firmament. With the whole Texas pan handle behind me I was riding through a tremendous array of wind turbines with red blinking lights on top. These stretched from horizon to horizon and were a definite blight on the terrain but they were soon behind me too. Everything was soon behind me, because five hours later I was home. I'll be looking for you in my mirror. Come on, let's go!

Friday, May 29, 2009

Emerald



I live in an emerald, this spring at least.



And, this is nice.

I wanted to do this yesterday. We are having very mild weather for this time of year with plenty of moisture. So it is especially pleasant and even more so in the evening light.



And then, there is this mess waiting for me.

Roses


Another dead soldier, Sgt. Major!

And she was such a pretty thing.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Just Cause

Something about those roses gets me.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Assorted stuff

The windscreen on my BMW K1100LT will no longer adjust up and down and it seems the motor is inoperative. Can't see spending $300 for a new motor. I'll run with the shield up all the time before I do that. I removed the motor from the bracket and activated the switch but all's happens is I hear the solenoid/relay clicking..both of them. So, if those click it means power is getting to the motor, right? Assuming the plugs/wires are OK. Since the motor does not spin I take it apart thinking the gears might be jammed. With the motor separated from the "gearbox" I can turn the sprocket, so, gears probably OK. I don't want to take this apart, so I put the motor back on the gearbox and run over to Taylor Auto Electric. They work on starters, alternators, but I got them to look at my motor. I stood there by the bench while the tech checked it out. He thinks it is indeed something inside the motor but doesn't want to work on it...not much, anyhow. He said I could leave it and when they ran out of "other stuff to do" they'd look at it. Thinks there might be an internal fuse like thingy that they could wire around. I told him it wasn't blowing fuses, but never mind that. He told me they wouldn't rewire the armature, but that they could make some new brushes, maybe, if that was the problem. He said there was an open circuit, bottom line.

So, in a few days I'll be living with, or without, an adjustable windshield. No big thing. Always been a pain in the rear anyhow.

Oh! Almost forgot the switch on the handlebar. My dealer evidently broke a wire and really buggered up a solder job when he fixed it. This ended up chafing away the insulation on an adjacent wire, but didn't blow a fuse. Hmmm! I had wanted to take it apart just to clean it when I discovered this. Well, push came to shove on this and it would be best to just replace it. $60. Arrrgh! It's on order. I'm gambling I'll get the motor running, but I'll bet not. I'm gonna hate having a useless $60 switch whose real value is about $3.

By the way, I thought I'd maintained this item pretty good, but when I took it apart it was just plain nasty. Especially the cables in those tubes.

Since my last post I went on another little camping trip up to Cedar Breaks State Park. It is about 350 miles from here, hard on the Red River right where the panhandle of Texas takes its northern turn. It is where the famous Quanah Parker lived and in fact the town there is called Quanah. It rained a lot of the way up there, in fact I was going to get away from the rain. Looking for some sunshine. That night in the tent it rained more. Really hard with continuous lightning and thunder. I lay there calculating in my mind the distance to the lightning based on distance sound travels in one second. Once I looked outside and the water was literally running around the tent. I stayed dry inside. But the main thing was the 50 mile winds (estimated) didn't blow the tent down. This has happened to me before which is why I now use this Harrier North Face shelter.

I tried to go for a hike the next day, but had to put that off because of more thunder boomers. And that night it rained ever harder. With marble sized hail. That was a first for me. Again, my equipment withstood this onslaught perfectly. I got to do my hike the next morning. Four hours and about eight miles and I had covered the 1500 acre park pretty well. I couldn't keep huge clots of red clay mud off my boots so it was a pretty good workout. It is really beautiful with a truly wonderful canyon right in the middle.

The third night was quiet, but hot and humid, so I was ready to leave that Friday morning and came home riding hard on the K bike. At home I had a real mess to clean up from all the rain and red mud on my stuff, but all's well now and I am getting ready to go out again and conquer some asphalt.

As soon as I fix this bike.

Last night about tenish, my friend Kristi came over and brought me a chicken enchilada with sour cream stuff on it. This was delicious. She hung out for a while drinking wine. Llano Estacado special reserve. I love this stuff. She had brought it over too, the day before. Said she wanted ME to drink it. But hey, she always drinks my wine and I always bitch that she never buys any.

Gotta go ride my bicycle.

Update: Taylor Auto Electric just called and said the motor is good after all. His test equipment was bad. His best bet now is that in spite of the fact the relays click they could still be bad as in not making good "enough" contact due to burning/carbon build up in the points. Interesting.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Volition and Teleology

Teleology: Vitalist philosophy. The doctrine that not only mechanical forces but also the self realization principle provides for the guidance of phenomena. There are final causes, purposes, embedded in the common stuff from which we all spring. These are not to be reasoned out, however. Reason has become an impediment for most.

It follows that repeated acts are volitional to their own repetition. Deeds of a kind attract, ergo, bad doing equates to bad company, ergo, it is possible to attract "higher beings", good and bad.

If you seek God, you will go to God. If you seek.........!

Monday, April 13, 2009

How'd I miss the Vernal Equinox

Somehow when the vernal equinox came this year I missed it. I don't recall what my preoccupation was but for some reason I wasn't paying attention. I don't like to miss these events. Observance of such things ties me to an ancient past, puts me in a line of succession that goes back to the first man who looked into the heavens and was able to pick out the patterns of activity there. One thing I routinely do, for instance, along these lines, is look for the first sliver of moon each month and when I find it ponder on the number of others on the planet doing that same thing at that same time. A small congregation, I imagine, but a congregation still, connected by the rhythm of the lunar cycle.

Last month I traveled to New York. That was a disaster. Family problems. I thank God for my family, but this is more than I can handle.

In February I took a trip too. I rode my BMW up to Ft. Worth area to visit an aunt. Then I rode West on I-20. I didn't know where in particular I was riding, but I ended up at Monahans Sand Hills State Park. The ride was hard and I lucked out in that the wind was not blowing, rather, when I got to the park it had died down. I camped there two days and hiked over the dunes laid down by the passing of glaciers in an ancient ice age. This is a beautiful place, this Earth, full of wonders beyond imagining. Those dunes, that whole experience, left me truly renewed. After 200 miles the first day, and no sleep that night, I rode 300 the next. I rode right through stress and boredom, weariness and cold winds, hunger, cloying high pitched screaming noise, incessant vibration, all that is motorcycling. I rode right through it to revitalization itself. But, of course, both days together amounted to a short ride but still I was on the road from 8:30 a.m. till four. Another Beemer showed up as I was finishing making camp. We shared some Johnnie Walker and swapped stories over an evening meal. Me, chemically heated MRE. He, something from REI, I think, which he cooked over a tiny stove. He was on his way to Piedras Negras vicinity to rally with other bikers along the Rio Grande. I have been on those roads twice, so I told him he was in for a nice ride.

When I left the sand hills I rode to Iraan which is where U.S. 190 ends, and took it East to where it intersects with U.S. 183. This is one of the best rides/drives in Texas, I think. It parallels I-10 for a long way and is the closest thing, nowadays, to what passes for a deserted highway. Very light traffic. It took me home and I spent many hours just being in my own personal space, in my element, asphalt to the front, disappearing to the rear. Fast.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Transcendence is in phenomenal objects

This is a spin off of something I read here. Look at Metaphysics heading, paragraph 3.

"Since transcendence is in phenomenal objects, the beauty that we see in things is in fact a perception right through factual reality to Beauty Itself."

With apologies to Kelly Ross I would spin that thusly:

".....the truth that we see in things is in fact a perception right through factual reality to Truth Itself."

".....the real that we see in things is in fact a perception right through factual reality to the Real Itself."

".....the Diety that we see in things is in fact a perception right through factual reality to the Diety Itself."

".....the value or moral truth that we see in things is in fact a perception right through factual reality to the Value or Moral Truth Itself."

...for love, knowledge, etc.

In so far as objective reality cannot be said to have qualities other than those pertaining to phenomenal objects it seems clear to me that the development in nature of conscience is an indication of an a priori/primordial valence or inclination to that manifestation. Acknowledgment to LeCompte du Nouy

The arising of beings with a capacity to behavior based on conscience means an inclination to good inheres as a potentiality in the most basic structure of the cosmos. Just like matter itself, or light, for instance.

By this I do not claim intelligent design as a universal law. I would rather claim some mysterious intention, never to be completely understood.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Note from Meeting with Desani

Look closely at where we come from. We are on a journey. We need tools, devices. Take from the past those good procedures as instruction from a revered teacher. Use them carefully, and when the present generation gives them up to the future our children will enjoy and appreciate what we did. Our acts should leave a residue, an accretion, on the gemstone of human history that gives clarity and brilliance. They will, if we seek knowledge, love, truth, and beauty, and do good deeds according to standard cultural norms.

Besides the great lord who is omnipresent there are everywhere smaller lords too. Some are tiny, infinitely small.

For whatever activity undertaken, there is a spirit for that doing and that spirit in time gets a life of its own, gets self awareness as it goes on. These acts eventually become forms of worship.

Knowingly or unknowingly our acts, ritualized and regularly played out, constitute worship, praise of spirits. The meditator eventually becomes the object of meditation.* These spirits range from the infinitely small to the infinitely large, from the most terrible evil to the most beautiful good, and so on.

Doing good enhances goodness. Goodness is the reservoir drawn from when acts of kindness are done. And it is thereby increased. These acts are like accretions. Charity grows by use. Doing right this time makes it easier the next and so forth.

Worship must have been discovered not invented.

Where the concentration is, there is the persistent, the lasting, the permanent. That to which attention goes is that which returns. In a sense to attend to something is to put consciousness into it, to bring it to life, to self awareness.

If born a warrior one concentrates on being such. One works at the tasks of warriorhood, makes the craft a permanent feature. So the warrior lives on generation after generation, life after life. The consequence is that the craft gets more efficient as time goes on. The power of war machines grow. The display of the hardware more and more glorious, awesome. There is no end to it except maybe annihilation. Probably the essence of the warrior is the death wish. The wish to be free.

*From the Bhagavad-Gita “Worshipers of spirits and goblins go to spirits and goblins, worshipers of the departed fathers go there, worshipers of me come to me.” (Krsna)

Saturday, November 01, 2008

On Experience

At the moment of supreme focus there is nothing there. The dichotomy, that is, between experiencer and that experienced disappears. We say, “lost in the moment…” to explain this. What happens is a melding of the ego, the mode of the experience, and that being experienced. He who loves his God disappears, God disappears, all remaining is “love of God”, for instance. In a “Zen” sense, if you take the well known phrase, “when hungry, I eat” and change it to “when hungry, eating” you have a sense of what is meant here, assuming the eater focuses on eating to the total and absolute exclusion of all else. The void, into which all stimuli disappears at the moment experience arises, for one who has total concentration, subsumes the whole of creation in a kind of quasi death. This is rapture, for the acolyte, pleasure, for the seeker thereof, adventure, for the mountaineer, and so forth.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

You Decide

The voice of the void: "Alive, I can't die; Dead, I can't be born."

Thursday, June 05, 2008

On Will , Faith, Instinct, Reason, and Thought

My use of the word Real below is as an aspect, a recognizable face (facet), of the motive force, spirit, that informs all that is. One could as easily use other words such as God, the Truth, the One, and so forth. This note ties in with much of what is written elsewhere in my blog and takes a step or two towards making a case for free will.

My reading of Blaise Pascal Pensee 340 wherein he observes that animals will but can't do math leads me to contemplate that there can be will without thought. Consider that will as principle preexists thought in that sentient life must emerge, become self aware, evolve a sense of cause and effect, and develop the use of symbols before the emergence of thinking itself. I am suggesting that thinking in the anthropomorphic sense does not occur for every order of being but that will perhaps does. The Real itself is a kind of being but does it observe the consequences of action within itself and think to affect those consequences by offering different action? Or does the Real rather through an exercise of will set creation in motion and let the consequences work themselves out? I don't think the Real apart from utilization of the self conscious faculties of created sentient beings has self awareness. I do think it has awareness itself but in the sense that one is aware equally of all that is in every particular as well as in total, that awareness can't be reflexive. It is only when awareness, consciousness, enters into a part of the whole and looks back on the whole from the standpoint of a separate being that self awareness enters into reality. So I think thought is an expression of consciousness in adequately developed sentient life forms. Furthermore in the Real awareness is something possessed in the sense that it exists as a potentiality awaiting the arising of conditions suitable for its emergence.

Consider also that instinct is related to will while reason is related to thought. So animal's instinct is a more primitive expression of the principle of will than in man while reason is similarly an evolute of the development of thought.

This brings up the question of whether faith is the opposite of will. I think not exactly. Faith is not intention but the yielding to intrinsic intention, existential will. Seeing there is something in the nature of existence that in reality is beyond my understanding, while I apprehend benevolence therein, I yield, that is, suspend "my" little will to preexisting will, that exists potentially and really in the very stuff of being. That, I think, is faith.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Verbindung II


Here is a black one. It is acrylic on canvas. Something tightly bound, it is. A presentation, a setting held firmly in place, a vast mystery as to origin, as to what exactly is going on, as to purpose, meaning, emotion. Is it love? Is it not? Perhaps it works to express and expand consciousness. Maybe it is so tightly held that any such expression is futile. Is it a surd? Is it without reason? Perhaps. But how can one possibly know whether it is not some kind of heuristic energeia? My intention is that it is the latter. It is self learning potentiality embedded in the kernel of the Real itself as a kind of meaning the expression of which is an infinite ingress of fractaling purpose.

Entelechy II


Entelechy II was my recent gift for Kristi Ann Harris. It wasn't really her 24th birthday gift but it was close. She says it is her favorite. We have had long discussions about the use of black in my art and it is of course significant that she chose a white piece for her own. I told her black represents the existential void which idea she finds disturbing. Kristi has lately taken to the path of faith so I explained that it is on faith that the void, with an infinite subtlety, becomes full of the divine. Nonetheless unless sustained by a belief system of some sort it can shift back to everlasting emptiness yawning at our feet. All creatures must cope with this teetering on the brink of meaning and not meaning, of purpose and not purpose, of love and not love, of God and not God. It is our intention that foreshadows whether our path is into nihilism or solipsism, or deism. It is our determination that takes us into everlasting darkness of the abyss or into the redeeming light of infinite bliss which is union with the divine.

Oil on canvas.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Entelechy I


Entelechy is from the Greek entelechia. For Aristotle it meant being at an end. This is oil on canvas.
Don't know if you believe in the spirit world but those two "entities" towards the right of the painting represent "disembodied" spirits. One has a sort of eye while the other is a little vaguer but you can tell they are both "watchers". They have their existence in subtle bodies, matter still, but more ephemeral than ours. They are mostly transparent and sort of like gossamer but they have appetites which they feed by watching, attending to, the activities of human beings. This is sort of like the vicarious experience we have watching a play or a movie. They aren't very smart. They are just appetites. Their existence consists of parasitic attachment to particular indulgences of their hosts and in fact their hosts often do these indulgences at the urging of the watchers. Of course they are not the end within, unless you lose your will to theirs. The end within is the secret fire under the domed hierarchical form, the pyramid, and is heuristic energeia. It is eternal, imperishable, and has the quality of conferring individuality. It is existential mass. It is capable of being or not being any actuality and is continuously self learning new actualities. The entelechy of potentiality is actuality.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Ritual Object


This is a found objects assemblage I did. All of these art pieces I will publish here were done about the same time, i.e., 1970s, during the period of my life when I fancied I wanted to find validation as a visual artist. I entered contests, won prizes, and such, even showed my stuff in a museum in Austin once but my other interests trumped this effort and I gave up the idea of making a living at this. At any rate I found a certain kind of fulfillment in these creations and my attraction to them has not diminished over time. In their creation my mind was beautifully, exquisitely focused. I like reentering these states of consciousness. I have had opportunities to give these away to family and friends over the years and even to sell them on a few occasions, but the price was never sufficient to make me part with them. I am glad I still have them around but would like to share them. So I will put them here.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

dense tearful dance

if can you too where want did dense tearful dance
(propensely waiting for falling me)
and little lubricant folly for hidden things,
reality slips concretely between ego's soul
i tend to manhood by degrees of you
(wait for me please, after all)
my petty exhortation is your echofile.

generally any particular thing loving knows,
this or these that those
(where why and wherefores see
wait for me can't you please).

while being allowed hollows hallowed thoughts
suffering goes where wild wind blows
as long gaunt ghosts before time
we tend our seems as dreaming deems
(but really is merely and lovely plain
please wait for me, and anyway)
dreaming deeds is doing
all nothing does.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Verbindung


Acrylic and found objects on panel by me circa 1973. The theme in my mind to which I was attempting to give aesthetic expression was of human life being in the grip of an infinite regress of technology where only efficiency was of value. Today we might speak of this sentiment as relating to the so called singularity.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Evolution of History

Some thoughts provoked by Daniel Boorstin*, his chapter on evolution of history.

I am rather inclined to think that there is only one absolute truth, the conditio sine qua non, though infinite approaches to that truth are possible. These approaches are mere artifacts, and this is Boorstin, "shards" of mental pottery, transient vessels of aspiration for the "Truth". Therefore, knowledge is not constant or immutable, but ephemeral, as dew on the rose. Knowledge is a mere contemporary of its zeitgeist. It paints the way, yes, but soon along that way, there will be newer signs appropriate to new contemporaries.

Sum

When there are no clouds
the sun shines-


Is that drinking tea from an empty cup?

All historians, indeed, all artists, theologians, and scientists, sate themselves on the contents of an empty vessel. I agree with R. G. Collingwood that only philosophy, of all man's endeavors, categories of being, Stages on Life's Way**, provides the framework wherein its practitioners can come to see that true understanding springs from the consciousness that returns on itself. Release the dichotomies! One simply cannot be brought out of darkness into light because darkness and light are in an interesting way the same thing.

So! Jews were never brought out of Egyptian slavery into the promised land. This historical/mythological paradigm of Christian salvation, coming out of the evils of the flesh into the salvation of the spirit, is one dichotomy. Christians are never "saved" from their sins by virtue of one defining moment in history. Similarly workers never free themselves, by whatever device, be it collective bargaining or revolution, from bondage to the controllers of the machine apparatus of production. And don't fail to note the "self similarity" of the two historical trends of Christianity and Marxism touched on here. (One is a fractal of the other.) Freedom, individuality, independence are a simple turn of the mind away for one and all. A gymnastic juggernaut is not required. Living through a hellish history based on false myths of original sin is not requisite. See that art, religion, science, history are mere preparations of the mind for philosophy. Philosophy is the culmination of the journey past or through these signposts. Their modes of consciousness are directed out from itself. Philosophy is man's consciousness turned back on its origin. That turn of the mind is a requisite of true understanding.

Collingwood's Speculum Mentis lays out this idea that the first signpost, Art, is expressive of the aspiration for beauty and is a search for, a longing for, the "other", that which is lacking. But is it really? In what respect would we lose our identity in blissful union? Isn't annihilation already and always there in that empty cup? Religion posits absolute reality in an absolute other. History posits its goal in a distant future to be achieved through evolution. The faith of science is that measurement of infinity is achievable and mistakenly conflates knowledge with understanding. All are instances of the attempt of the soul to go beyond itself, of the urge to see reality as greater than it is.

There are, of course, many other considerations some of which I have addressed previously in this space. Beauty, truth, liberty, love, and similar attributes of consciousness are, besides what I say here, I believe, facets of a divine being and are in a sense also spirits in themselves in that "their" being is added to, enhanced somehow by participation in them of sentient life. The principles grow by being called on and their luminescence increases through this use. It also bears repeating that existential mass embodies these principles as potentialities that emerge, so to speak, in the presence of sentient life. Our consciousness directed in these categories is fertile soil for the growth of these spirits. Thus it is that God has commerce with creation. Thus it is that God has self experience. For what other purpose could there be for making this being? I am here at the cusp of projecting, I see, my human nature on the cosmos. This is a conundrum that recurs throughout history. My answer is that I am the cosmos in a sense, so this projection is of the cosmos onto itself. Keeping all the caveats mentioned here and elsewhere in mind, that is how I am able to be confident in my appraisal.



*The Discoverers
**Soren Kierkegaard